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Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine¡¯s Day? A:
Q. Where do all the hamburgers take their girl-
friend on Valentine¡¯s Day? A. To the meatball.
Q. What¡¯s the difference between a $20 steak
and a $55 steak? A. February 14th.
Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? A.
Because it¡¯s all heart.
Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on
Valentine¡¯s Day? A: Somebunny loves you!
Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep
on Valentine¡¯s Day? A: You¡¯re not so baaaa-d!
Q: What is a ram¡¯s favorite song on February
14th? A: I only have eyes for ewe...
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what
would you call her? A: Antelope
Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend on
Valentine¡¯s Day? A: Be my Valenstein!
Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on
Valentine¡¯s Day? A: Cauliflowers!
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice
cream? A: ¡°I¡¯m sweet on you!¡±
Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Val-
entine¡¯s Day? A: A hug and a quiche.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a
french chef? A: You get buttered up.
Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valen-
tine¡¯s Day? A: Hogs and kisses!
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A:
You turn me on.
Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet? A:
I find you very attractive.
Q: What did one volcano say to the other? A: I
lava you.
Q: What is the most romantic city in England? A:
Q. Why should you never breakup with a goalie?
A. Because he¡¯s a keeper.
Q: What¡¯s the best part about Valentines Day?
A: The day after when all the chocolate goes on
The Reading Room
2019 February/March
Pg 5 - The Sunshine Express
Treasures From The Inbox
If you get email, you
get stuff. Sometimes
it is spam, sometimes
it is a true gem.
Here is one of those
gems worth sharing:
A Cat From Heaven
A pastor had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his
backyard, and then was afraid to come down.
The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The
kitty would not come down.
The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the
pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and
drove away so that the tree bent down, he could
then reach up and grasp the kitten.
He did all this, kept getting out to check, then
figured if he went just a little bit farther, the tree
would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the
But as he moved a little farther forward... the
rope broke.
The tree went *Boing!* and the kitten instantly
sailed through the air, out of sight.
The pastor felt very bad.
He walked all over the neighborhood, asking
people if they¡¯d seen a little kitten. No. Nobody
had seen a kitten.
So, he prayed, ¡°Lord, I just commit this kitten to
Your keeping,¡± and went on about his business.
A few days later, he was at the grocery store and
he met Mrs. Smith, one of his church members.
He happened to look into her shopping cart and
he was amazed to see cat food, knowing she
hated cats.
He asked her, ¡°Why are you buying cat food when
you hate cats so much?¡±
She grinned and said, ¡°Oh, you won¡¯t believe
this,¡± and told him how her little girl had been
begging her for a cat, but, of course, she kept
Then a few days ago, her girl had begged
again and so she, exasperated, had told her,
¡°Well, if God gives you a cat from heaven,
then I¡¯ll let you keep it.¡±
You can guess the rest.
She told the pastor, ¡°I watched my little girl
go out in the yard, get on her knees and ask
God for a kitty cat. And really, Pastor, you
won¡¯t believe this, but I saw it with my own
eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the
blue sky, with its paws spread out, and landed
right in front of her!¡±
Valentine¡¯s Day Chuckles
The Rightful Owner
One day, the cow fell ill and stopped giving
milk. Thinking she would never recover, Gopal
drove her out of his house.
¡°Now my owner does not need me. I will
never return to him,¡± thought the sad cow
and ran away.
On the way, the hungry cow fell unconscious.
Dharma, a kind-hearted farmer noticed her
and brought her to his house.
After a few days the cow recovered. Dharma
thought, ¡°I wonder who this cow belongs to.¡±
But he was unable to find the owner.
Soon, the cow gave birth to a calf and started
giving milk again. Dharma fed her well and
looked after the calf, too. By selling the cow¡¯s
milk, Dharma became a wealthy man. Every-
one wanted to buy Dharma¡¯s cow¡¯s milk. The
cow¡¯s fame spread everywhere.
Gopal too came to know about this event.
¡°I wonder if that cow is the same one I had
driven away,¡± thought Gopal.
When Gopal went to Dharma¡¯s house, he
found that is was indeed his cow. ¡°That cow
belongs to me,¡± said Gopal. But Dharma re-
fused to return the cow.
¡°I will take the help of the Village Adminis-
tration,¡± shouted Gopal. And next day, the
Village Administrator heard this case. Im-
mediately, the Village Administration Council
Every one was eager to know what the
judgment would be. ¡°Let the cow decide for
herself who she want to live with,¡± said the
Village Administrator.
So the cow was placed between Dharma and
Gopal. The cow was asked by the Village
Administrator to with the person whom she
wanted to live with.
The cow walked away from Gopal and started
licking Dharma¡¯s hand. She knew the differ-
ence between Gopal¡¯s selfishness and Dhar-
ma¡¯s kindness.
The Village Administrator handed over the
cow to the rightful owner, Dharma.
Q. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend
on Valentine¡¯s Day? A. He gave her a ring.
Q: What do you call a very small valentine?
A: A valen-tiny!
Q. Why do skunks love Valentine¡¯s Day? A.
Because they¡¯re scent-imental creatures!